I have a severe case of holiday envy.

It seems that most people around me are going on exciting vacations. So, to stave off the jealousy I have started to enter competitions. If I can’t afford a holiday right now, I am determined to win one. I even bought a loaf of bread the other day purely because the company was giving away a trip to Europe.

Any kind of holiday will do but in particular, I’d like a tropical, five-star getaway. (Hawaii would be nice.) Tropical holidays have never appealed to me much until I had kids. Now, I would really love a break where everything is in one location – hotel, pool, food, entertainment. And because these kinds of holiday are not in my reality I rarely read travel articles or watch travel shows on tv. I don’t deserve a holiday but I really want one!

A while ago I caught up with an ex-boyfriend who casually informed me that he couldn’t stay long at our coffee catch-up because he was “going on holiday to Micronesia with a girlfriend” the next day.  I tried my best to mask my feelings of jealousy and curiosity. I mean, the furthest I had got to travelling for a while was on Puffing Billy when my in-laws were visiting (If Cal Lightman from Lie to Me was in the cafe at the time he would have had a field day with my micro expressions!) and there in front of me was someone who was off for a luxurious, tropical holiday!

To this day I still haven’t Googled “Micronesia” for fear that the knowledge of the fabulousness of the place will make me want to stab my eyes with a fork.

It’s really never a good idea to catch up with an ex, especially when you are carrying a ton of post-baby weight and the only thing stopping your shirt front and fly from popping and flashing the public are safety pins and sticky-tape! I mean, the whole purpose of those meets is for some one- upmanship and a tropical holiday trumps pretty much everything – especially when it’s not you taking the holiday!

It’s not like I haven’t had my chance to travel. I lived in London for quite a few years and had the world at my doorstep. But like many people, I got lazy and took it for granted.

Oh, well…back to entering competitions, unless some mysterious benefactor wants to give me a holiday!